Five Heart Shaped Necklaces Chapter 7

***sorry about the short length, The next chapter will be longer.***

The jolt of pain and fear saturated me from head to toe as I felt Emily’s powerful emotions. All that I knew was that I had to get there, and I had to get there fast. I shot a look at Aerther, and his face fell. I think that his hair rustled as I took off in a blink. He stood there dazed, and I was already halfway across the field, heading for the woods.

I felt him behind me. So he could run. I pushed myself faster, having to focus my mind onto the task ahead, and not the boy. That was so hard though! About a mile into the woods, I saw figures battling in the shade of the canopy of trees. I lunged at the nearest figure. It was Amanda.

“What the hell is this? I leave you guys for one minute, and there’s already a fight!” I smirked at her.

“I wouldn’t want you to miss out on the fun, now, would I?” Her eyes glinted mischievously.

“Is that a challenge Miss Amanda? Because I’m already ahead.” I ran to the nearest brownie and shot it with a black flame. It disintegrated. My eyes dotted to her face, then to Aerther’s. He smiled with a narrowed glare, mimicking my finger movements. I blushed. I hate the control he has over me!

“Want in on this bet?” I shouted to his general direction, too busy with another brownie. I was in hand to hand combat with it. He was losing. I finally got him on the ground and shot him with my middle finger.

“Burn.” I said, to no one in particular.

Finally, I scanned the clearing and saw what we were up against. There were more Brownies then I would have thought. About three groups of six. We were outnumbered. This would be a close fight.

Jumping on another one’s back, I snapped his neck. I took to the trees. The soft leaves provided a lush green shelter, where I could make my plan. There were only about ten brownies left. I wanted three of them. That would definitely put me in the lead. I jumped onto the back of a big one from the tree, taking us both onto the ground. I punched him in the face and he groaned and rolled over on top of me. I kicked him in the gut and he was lifted off of me. Aerther’s face appeared from where he was. I smiled.

“He was mine. I could have got him!” I exclaimed.

“I’m in the lead by two!” He shouted.

“Shut up!” I ignored that hand he had outstretched. I hated losing. Absolutely hated it! I could feel he pounding in my head and ears. It went to my fingers. I glanced at Emily who was eyeing at me warily. I nodded at her. Her eyes got wide.

“Everyone, gather around me on the count of three!” She yelled really loud.

My vision had stars in it.

“One!”

My fingers trembled.

“Two!” There was a crowd of friends around her, in her invisible shield. Her hands were raised with concentration.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

“Three!”

The internal pressure was way too much. I fell to my knees with a black shadow of intensity. The world was exploding. Or, at least the tress around me. I could feel it. My power. My lust. It was overpowering my goodwill. I loved it. I stood with my eyes still shut as the inferno of pure black flame danced around the once lush forest.

I could hear the Brownie’s screams. It made me laugh. My eyes flew open, and the power increased. I tries something. I took one hand and tried to push the power back into it. Maybe I could shape shift it into a more powerful weapon. My hand started burning. I breathed calmly, fighting to urge to stop, to scream. I could see it forming though. I pushed it into both hands.

Both hands were then filled with two lethal, black sparkling swords. They felt right. They were made for my hands only. I needed a pouch for them. The inferno around me had stopped with my lack of concentration.

What was left transferred into a black pouch on my back. I slipped them into it carefully, and then dared to face my old and new friends. I was honestly terrified of what Aerther would think. I raised my eyes to Rachel first. She Always knew what to do.

Rachel

When Alexis raised her eyes to me, I knew what she was thinking.

Aerther

Of course she would think of the boy before her friend.

I blinked once and nodded at her. Maybe it would work. Some guys like a girl who could fight. I hope that Caelnisah like one that could fight. I hate fighting with a green passion. Hate it. Loath it. But if it had to happen, I will use all of my will to defeat the one’s that pixies are at war with. My stomach had an uplifting feeling in it. And I don’t think that it was because of the words in my head. It was because Caelnisah was holding me in his arms. I closed my eyes and breathed softly, taking in the burnt smell, and realized that there was a forest fire some ways down the crater that Alexis’s had blown in the Earth.

I shot Amanda a glance. We needed a water pixie!

Amanda

I smelt it before I felt the fear in Rachel’s mood. I looked at Casther with apology. I released his hand as I ran towards a water pixie’s worst nightmare. Forest Fire. Rachel would be very weak. When one of the elements that we control gets damaged in some way, the pixie gets weak. I was unfair. Unless, evil died completely overnight or time was destroyed, Emily and Alexis would never have to worry. It was me and Rachel. I had water and she had Earth. She was also good at stopping arguments. I was good at leading. Natural born, I will say!

The fire was much bigger than I thought. My eyes snapped shut and I felt the harsh pull in my stomach. Water. It was roaring in a huge tycoon behind me. I crashed down onto the fire. I could hear the hissing as fire meets water, and I could barely see Casther over the smoke.

“What are you doing?” I asked getting drenched in water.

“Kissing you in the rain.” He said with lust. He took me in his wet arms, and right then, I realized that I didn’t care. I let in and kissed him back, wrapping my arms around his neck and pushing him against the closest tree remains that there were.

Emily

I remembered the crying when I looked at Alexis’s face. She was crying in Aerther’s arms. I looked around, and then thanked my lucky gods that she couldn’t have been killed. She wasn’t heartbroken, and she hadn’t been drowned. I looked harder and faster. Running was quite a bore if there wasn’t anyone to race. I found her. She was curled up into a ball, and I could hear her quiet sobs.

“Are you okay? You’ll be okay. Don’t worry. Shh. Shh. I have you now. Calm down.” I cooed to her, while I cradled in my arms, hoping with everything that I had that I was right. That she would be okay.

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Hi there—I know this is dreadfully late, sorry. My school life has been a little nightmarish lately. XD

Anyway! I thought this was a really strong chapter, it impressed me a lot. I felt a lot of sympathy for Alexis, you made me feel just how much she’s really being caused to suffer because of her powers. If this sort of angst isn’t written right, it can get really annoying, but in this case it was just about perfect. I kind of just wanted to give her a hug. I can really see how your characterization has gotten stronger—Alexis has gained so much depth since back in the prologue, it’s truly amazing. The other characters have grown a lot, too—I think the changes in POV are really working for you.

I do think that you need to let us know who’s narrating at the beginning of this chapter, though—I honestly couldn’t figure it out until she started using her powers. XD The tense also changed pretty often in this chapter… you might want to read over it again, to make sure you’re staying in past tense.

It also seems to me like the romances might be moving a little too fast. I can’t speak for much, not being all that experienced in the areas of romance, but I don’t really think I’d be kissing a guy I met all of four hours ago even if he was a Greek god—especially if I’d just gone through a major emotional trauma like the loss of a good friend. Their quick falling in love looks a little unrealistic.

A couple typos I caught:

I could feel he pounding in my head and ears.

What is pounding in her head and ears?
I tries something.

“Tried”
I was unfair.

“It”

I must admit, I’m really impressed with this chapter, I can tell how hard you’ve been working on this story, and I’m enjoying the results, a lot. Your work seems to get better every time you write a word, and I admire you greatly for that. I’m looking forward to great things in the future of this story—and I’ll be back for chapter eight! ^_^

User avatar
imafreak22 Comment

YO LEX! I mades a new one! okay then.

1. you mispelled things

2. so did i

3. nice but kinda mushy now.

4. keep going!



Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.
— Ann Landers